Hidden Talent
by HellishHope
Summary: Set after the final battle, Sirius and Remus are living together. Remus' attempts to find a good hobby present Sirius when an *unique* opportunity. Slash and sexual content.


**Author's Note: This story contains (graphic) sexual content, homosexuality and language. If this offends you, do **_**not**_** read it. I have no desire to offend, just to entertain. (I do not own these characters. If I did, **_**illustrated**_** copies of Sirius and Remus and the Ballad of Homosexual Love would be on store shelves worldwide.)**

Sirius entered the flat that he had purchased earlier that week. He had been ecstatic to finally be able to present his longtime boyfriend with a place of their own and beamed as he remembered how happy Remus had looked when he realized that all of the sneaking-around and suspicious behavior Sirius had been guilty of was an attempt to pull off the best birthday surprise of their relationship yet. As he looked around the flat, Black noted that it could use some work – the wallpaper was a dreadful floral print and the carpets were an ugly green shag, the likes he hadn't seen since the seventies.

However, he knew that Remus was going to have a great time redecorating it just the way he wanted. Now, his boyfriend was not one of those particularly effeminate men who enjoys interior decoration and could spend hours searching for _just_ the right shade of blue to accent the front room- not that there was anything wrong with that! Not at all, but Remus J. Lupin simply was not that sort of man. Although, he _was_ the sort of man who had tried his hand with numerous hobbies over the years and had met with relatively little success. So, he had kept searching and decorating was simply the most recent venture in his journey to find his hidden talent.

A shout of "Fucking hell" came from the bedroom and was accompanied by a loud crash.

"Moony, are you alright?" Sirius inquired in a concerned voice. The werewolf was known to be more than a little clumsy and had on more than one occasion found himself in quite the jam because of it.

"I-I'm fine…. I think… " an embarrassed voice mumbled from the next room.

"Do you want me to come in there and give you a hand?" Sirius asked, slightly worried.

"NO!" Remus quickly shouted, preceding a loud thud. After a moment, Remus sighed audibly and in a strained voice commented, "Th-that's quite alright. I think I can manage on my own. Everything's just dandy. Why don't you go visit Harry and Ron for a bit? As a matter of fact, maybe you should ask if you could sleep on their couch for the night. A bit of a boys' night, perhaps?"

Now, Sirius was thoroughly confused and not buying Moony's story about anything _or_ anyone in the flat being _fine, alright_, or _just dandy_. "Moony, perhaps it would be best if you just 'fessed up and told me what was wrong instead of trying to hand me over to some co-conspirator until you can hide the evidence?"

"Now what on earth would give you the impression that's what is going on?" Lupin queried in a nonchalant voice that was punctuated by a loud banging.

"Perhaps, the fact that you have done it on multiple occasions – the time you tried to take up incense therapy and damn near burned our room at Hogwarts down, the time you decided you would be exceptional at cooking and somehow the kitchen ended up looking like that scene from _Psycho_, the time you wanted to try your hand at painting and the living room floor was never quite the same again, the unruly puppy incident, the candle making fiasco, Hippogriffgate of Grimmauld Place and numerous other affairs in which your natural knack as a klutz managed to overcome your search for whatever other talents you might possess," Black replied in a teasing voice.

"Padfoot, you know – it's terribly unfortunate for me that your powers of deduction have increased with age." Remus pouted as loud splash resounded from the hardwood floor of their bedroom.

"Moony, my love, it would reassure me more than you could possibly know if you were to tell me that it was _not_ paint which you just threw so haphazardly onto the floor of our most private of sanctuaries," Sirius pleaded as he placed his hands on the inside of the door frame which he was currently leaning against.

"Padfoot, heart's dearest, it would reassure me more than you could possibly know if you were to tell me that you realized that your stepping one single solitary foot inside this door will mean the end of your sexual privileges for an unbearably long time," Remus shot back as he glared at Sirius' fingers which were attempting to find the light switch, while their owner remained just outside the room.

"Listen, love, just tell your big handsome man whatever is the matter and I promise that you can crawl into my arms and I will make it all better," Black flirted in an only slightly joking voice.

"I have no intention of crawling anywhere for you! You arrogant git! Now just leave me alone for a bit and I'll have this place finished by tomorrow night. Go. To. Harry's," the other man demanded.

"No intention of crawling for me, eh? That's not what you said last night, Moony, my…"

"Oy! You stop right there!" Lupin growled cutting him off. For Remus, there was a clear line between sexual moments and Sirius-needs-to-control-his-hormones moments.

Whatever other scolding he might have done was left hanging because it was at that moment that all hell seemed to break loose in that one little room. A metallic crash followed the sound of fabric being ripped horrendously, which was followed by a sickening thud and an, "Oooompf!" that caused Sirius to rush into the room to make sure his boyfriend was in one piece.

When he entered the forbidden area, his jaw almost dropped to the floor at the disaster area that lay before him. The lacey curtains had been torn from their place before the window, one end lying in the hand of the resident klutz who had apparently attempted to catch himself with it after tripping over a can of yellow paint that had spilled all over the hard-wood floor. Sirius wasn't convinced that was the greatest problem, though. A picture whose glass frame had been shattered hung haphazardly over the bed, a bucket of water had been thrown onto the floor in an abandoned attempt to mop up and a particularly hideous lamp lay in front of a bamboo nightstand that had fallen to the floor, all of which were apparently the other decorative choices that Remus had selected for their humble abode.

Sirius rushed over to where Remus lay on his back still clinging to the torn drapery for support and muttering something to himself that sounded suspiciously like, "Merlin, kill me _now_. Now? Now? Any time now…." as he held his eyes tightly closed. He was a remarkable sight – his light brown hair pointed in every imaginable direction, bits of yellow and blue paint had found their way onto his clothes, skin and hair and he had somehow managed to find himself covered in enough dust from the drywall to look like _quite_ the fairy.

"Moony, are you okay? Do you need a hand?" Padfoot asked in an uncharacteristically concerned voice.

"Oh, I'm just _dandy_, Pads. If you give me, but just a moment, I'm sure I'll feel up to dancing the samba," came the reply in a deeply sarcastic voice.

"Really? Because I would find that quite impressive at our age…." Sirius admired.

Lupin placed a hand over his face, shook his head without opening his eyes and moaned in a pained voice, "I was being sarcastic, you horribly daft man. I don't think I can stand back up."

"Oh….Oh! Well, then…. What do we do now?" Sirius wondered as he tried to formulate a plan of action.

"_We_? What is this '_we_' stuff? _You_, o' great man of brilliance, _you_ are going to help me to the bathroom for a shower, then _you_ are going to help me to the couch and then _you_ are going to go spend the night with our favorite Godson because _I_ am not going to attempt to fit both of us onto that couch for the night," Remus instructed in an exasperated tone. He was irritated that his decorating attempt had taken such a horrible turn for the worst and horribly embarrassed that he hadn't even remotely outgrown his youthful clumsiness, but more humiliating was the fact that a combination of age and old wounds had resulted in him being so sore after one simple fall. He remembered like it was yesterday being able to leap out of trees, climb fences and evade McGonagall like it was nothing.

"Alright…. Let's get started," the gray-eyed man stated with resolve as he pulled his lover off the floor gently. He maneuvered the injured individual so that he was carrying most of his weight and began the small trek to their bathroom.

"You know, Moony, I _did_ suggest that you wait until I got home before you started on anything that might be considered dangerous," he reminded, half-teasingly.

"You know, Padfoot, I am willing to go without any _illicit_ activities for far longer than you are," the werewolf reminded in a tired voice. His patience was wearing quite thin.

Sirius elected to remain silent for the rest of the tedious journey to the bathroom, but once they arrived there, he assisted in Remus' efforts to sit himself on the edge of the bathtub before leaning against the wall, winking and whispering, "Take it off! Take it off!"

"Sirius Orion Black, get your arse out of here," Moony ordered as he began filling the bathtub with water.

"I think I'd _much_ rather stay for the show," Mr. Black replied in a sultry voice.

"I don't doubt that at all, but there will be _no_ show," Remus growled as he tapped his foot impatiently.

"I wouldn't be so sure," was the confident reply from the man whose gray-eyes had already undressed the other.

"Look, Black, I am not in the mood," Lupin stated using his boyfriend's last name to indicate how serious he was being.

That, however, did not stop said boyfriend. If anything, it simply served to fan the flames.

The dominant man placed a finger over the thin lips of his lover to silence his objections as he undressed him, pulling his paint covered t-shirt over his slightly graying hair and pressing their lips together as he placed a hand on his chest. Their lips crashed together lustfully and Sirius bit teasingly at the other's lips and tongue knowing how Remus loved that gentle sting. While his mouth teased, his hands found their way to their nipples where they began to twist them just enough to illicit enough pain to almost cause his lover to object. Whatever objections he might have voiced, however, were silenced when Sirius lowered himself to his knees, moved his mouth to that sensitive area and began an earnest effort to drive his man crazy.

Remus' protestations died in his throat and his mind began to fog. He found that all he could do was stare down at the black-haired man whose full lips were pressed tightly around his nipples. Unconsciously, he began to lick his own lips as a passionate hunger began to well within him.

Looking up, Sirius saw that his lover had begun to lose control. He pulled his lips away gently, smirked up at the other man and stood back up. "Something you want, Moony?" he asked his deep voice teasing.

Unable to form a coherent thought, Remus answered his question without words. He quickly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend pulling him back down to his level. One hand found its way to the back of Black's head where it grabbed onto his hair as if it would allow him to keep a grasp on reality; the other hand quickly found itself placed firmly onto Sirius' arse, which Lupin pressed toward himself. He began sucking on those full teasing lips with great ferocity.

Padfoot, reading his signals perfectly, pulled off his own shirt quickly and then began grinding himself against his partner. "Looks like somebody's excited…," he observed as he pressed his hands onto Moony's backside, pulling him up from the edge of the bathtub so that he could rock against him.

Blushing, Remus muttered, "I-I don't know what you're talking about, Pads," his mind fully occupied with the sensation of his confined manhood rubbing against Sirius' own hardness.

Sirius pulled back and asked with hungry eyes, "Tsk. Tsk. Now, what did I tell you to call me in these _situations_?" in a voice that Remus referred to as the schoolmaster tone.

Remus tried to catch his breath and shook his head, refusing to look directly at the man who stood in front of him. "Pads….I…really have no idea w-what you're…." he tried to reply in a shaky voice.

Black just shook his head- the stuttering gentleman before him knew precisely what he was talking about and he wasn't going to let him off the hook that easy. Placing a hand firmly on the crotch of his lover's jeans, he moved his fingers just enough to tease and asked in a sterner voice, "What. Did. I. _Tell. _You. To. Call. Me?"

Now desperate to do whatever would be necessary to gain some release, Lupin stared hard at the ground and replied shakily, "M-Master…"

The addressee smiled and chewed on his lip for a moment considering just how much he loved hearing the handsome individual before him like that – desperate, embarrassed, _hungry_. He withdrew his hand and Remus whimpered at the interruption, but before he could protest further Sirius placed a finger on his lips and whispered, "Now, look me in the eyes and say it,"

If he hadn't been half crazy with lust, he never would have been able to do it, but Remus managed to pull his gaze from the floor and lifted it just enough to see gray eyes staring back at him with a cool heat. "M-master," he stuttered.

"Mm. Good boy," came the reply.

Blood rushed to Moonys' cheeks as he blushed- it was his preferred bedroom title, but it never ceased to cause him to become immediately breathless with hunger. Lust caused him to desperately want to please.

While Remus stood blushing like a school boy, Sirius had finished undressing and now stood arms crossed across his chest with his manhood proudly at attention. "On your knees," he commanded leaving no room for negotiation.

The blushing individual lowered himself to his knees quickly and stared hungrily at the hard tool which was before him. He wanted so desperately to taste it, suck on it – to lose himself enjoying it.

"Does the good boy deserve a lollipop?" the dominant man asked, managing to sound as nonchalant as possible with a huge smirk plastered upon his face.

"Y-yes please," the other begged, desperation written plainly on his face and etched upon his voice.

"Then have at it," was the calm reply.

Lupin set to work quickly. His tongue began to lick up and down the shaft gently at first, but gaining in speed. As he stared up at the man in front of him who had closed his eyes pleasure, he couldn't resist the urge to wrap his hand around his himself and begin pulling himself closer to his own completion.

"C'mon…Use your mouth…" Sirius urged, his voice now full of uncontrolled lust.

Remus opened his mouth and allowed Sirius to thrust himself inside. The kneeling gentleman began working his mouth against the hard shaft, trying to reach the back of his throat, but the length caused him to gag slightly and pull his head further away.

"Awwww….Is it a little too big?" Black asked, his arrogant teasing voice returned.

Moony nodded nervously, but continued sucking hungrily.

Without warning, Sirius forced himself in further- almost to the back of his boyfriend's throat causing him to gag slightly. This act of domination caused the flames of passion inside the submissive man to roar and his hand moved faster against his own member- so eager for completion.

Padfoot wove his hand into his lover's hair, grabbing tight and pulling him close. Hissing the question, "Do you want it?" A nodded assent caused him to begin yanking the other man back and forth roughly, but not dangerously so, in order to hasten his own reward.

Suddenly, he felt his orgasm coming. Pleasure flooded his senses as fluid flooded his boyfriend's hungry mouth.

Remus felt his own completion arrive as his lover's juices reached the back of his throat, he allowed himself to lose control and his member erupted as he lost control and the world seemed to fade away.

He was called back to reality by the sound of a familiar arrogant voice whispering in his ear, "_Such_ a good boy."

Later that Evening

After finally making it into the shower and taking another look at the bedroom, Remus had grudgingly agreed with Sirius that decorating probably wasn't his forte. With a sing-song, "I-told-you-so," Padfoot had called a maid service to clean the disaster known as their bedroom and they had both settled down on the couch to chat over take-out.

"C'mon, Moony. Do we really _need_ our house to be decorated?" Sirius inquired in a pleading voice as he searched the bag for chopsticks.

"I just thought it would be a nice idea, Pads…." Remus replied, still grouchy about his inability to do the job himself.

"Well, I think that just because we both happen to fancy blokes, doesn't mean we need an interior decorator… I mean we're not _that_ gay…" Padfoot responded. "I mean, I have an image to maintain! I drive a flying motorcycle, I escaped Azkaban, I'm an ex-convict and I have the balls to sleep with a dangerous werewolf! We're just two very manly men who happen to be in love- no decorating or other girly shit required!" he continued, having obviously never heard of political correctness.

"I suppose we can do without," Remus conceded. "It's just that I really wanted a hobby that I was good at… You know, something I could really dedicate myself to… Like you do with your motorcycles. I've always thought if I could just find my hidden talent, then I would have the perfect hobby."

"I have exactly the hobby for you, Moony. They have magazines for it, stores that cater to the practice and books on the subject, everything you'd need to become an expert!" the reply came with a wink.

With a serious look, Remus replied, "Pads, I want a hobby I can talk to people about. I can _hardly_ discuss blowjobs with anyone- say our Godson, for instance."

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I suppose you're right, Moony. The poor fellow is probably still scarred from walking in on us earlier-,"

Mouth agape, Remus almost fell of the couch as he spun to look at his boyfriend and demanded, "Black, that better be a bloody joke!"

It was at that moment that Sirius decided to go search the kitchen for a fork- leaving his boyfriend to look up the name of a good counselor.

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed it. I hope neither the sexual contents nor my writing scarred anyone out there. Reviews aren't just allowed, they're encouraged! Feel free to complain or compliment.**


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